21 November 2019
The most outrageous quotes by TV’s one-percenters
These are some of the times our favourite filthy rich TV characters proved how spoiled they are – you’ll find all these scenes in series and movies on Showmax.
HBO’s Succession
When Tom schools Greg on how to be rich: S1, episode 6
Greg: I just got paid and I was thinking about – have you ever visited the California Pizza Kitchen?
Tom [laughing]: No! Dear Lord, no.
Greg: It’s pretty delicious.
Tom: No! No, it isn’t, Greg. You might think it tastes delicious, but –
Greg: They make a cajun chicken linguine just how I like it!
Tom: But that’s not how you’re supposed to like it. You probably have quite an undereducated palate, so let’s go out, and I’ll teach you, and I’ll show you how to be rich.
This scene culminates in Tom and Greg eating ortolan, whole deep-fried songbirds that are insanely expensive – they cost around 150 Euros each, and the New York Times called them “the gastronomic equivalent of a visitation from the holy grail” – and, as Tom says, are “kind of illegal”.
When Roman reveals Logan’s attitude to his domestic staff: S1, episode 4
Roman: He didn’t apologise when he hit our au pair with his car. It was her fault for being too short, he said.
When Roman won’t let some minor amputations get in the way of Shiv’s wedding celebration: S1, episode 10
When the Japanese satellite launch that Roman is supposed to be overseeing falls on the same day as his sister Shiv’s wedding, we all know that something is going to go terribly wrong. And it does, in a literally explosive fashion.
Gerri finds Roman later to tell him about the casualties incurred at the launch, and his response is so perfectly blithe, it could only have come out of a Roy’s mouth.
Gerri: Two guys lost thumbs, and there might be an arm they can’t save, but they might.
Roman: Are you fucking kidding me? This is great. You’re not going to ruin a party over a couple of fucking thumbs.
When Greg learns that $5 million isn’t real money: S2, episode 9
Greg finds out, towards the end of Season 2, that he’s in line to inherit $5 million, which, to Greg, and other normal people like us, is a lot of money.
But not to the Roys.
Connor and Tom go on to explain to Greg that you can’t retire or do anything, really, on only $5 million.
Tom: You’re the poorest rich person in America.
Connor: The weakest strong man at the circus.
Billions
When Bobby says “F**k you” to Chuck for the first time: S1, episode 1
Chuck: Walk away.
Bobby: I should. But then again, what’s the point of having f**k you money if you never say f**k you?
When Bobby tells his employees they’re all selfish motherf**kers: S2, episode 5
Bobby lambastes his staff for playing it safe by refusing to take risks and not coming up with an idea “that will shock the world”.
Only an actual billionaire would accuse a bunch of hedge fund managers of being selfish for protecting their bonuses.
When Bobby explains what makes a billionaire: S2, episode 11
Bobby: There’s a small group who can do the math. There’s an even smaller group who can explain it. But those few who can do both? They become billionaires.
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
When Nick explains to Rachel that his family is “comfortable”
Just before boarding their flight to Singapore, Rachel discovers that they have been booked first class tickets.
Rachel: Nick. We can’t afford this.
Nick: My family has business with the airline. The tickets, they’re a perk.
Rachel: What kind of business?
Nick: Real estate, investment, other things. Nothing interesting.
When Nick’s aunt declares that $40 million is way too much to spend on a wedding
Eleanor: Is this a church or a paddy field?
Alix: They spent forty million on the wedding.
Felicity: Really? That’s too much. We’re Methodists, twenty million is our limit.
The Real Housewives of Johannesburg
When Evodia became “Madam”: S1, episode 1
Evodia Mogase was everyone’s favourite diva in Season 1, and in the very first episode she earned her nickname when she said, “This diva you’re looking at is the queen of the town. I slay! What Madam wants, Madam gets!”
When Tarina says she’s never had a job: S2, episode 1
South Africa was shocked to hear the Bollywood actress boast about not ever having had to do a “real” job on the first episode of the second season.
Tarina: I do not have a nine-to-five. I don’t know what that is. I see it around me, I believe it exists, but I have no personal interaction or personal experience of this nine-to-five.
